Finals in college is by far an absolute hell. It is a whole week dedicated to taking tests or writing a paper that’s basically considered about a fourth of the student’s grade. It is an all-nighter galore and a late-night festival.

This semester, I only had 2 classes. One of which is a 9-credit course – yes, 9 is possible especially in nursing school. My last final, the 9-credit class, was the most difficult exam I have ever taken. It was a 100-question exam that included 27 select-all-that-apply questions. I had about 18 guesses of which I consider immediate points off so I have a maximum predicted score of 82. My criteria included: (1) I am only 99% sure that I got this question right, and (2) it took a long time to read the question. In taking tests in nursing school, one really needs to trust their gut because most of the time, their gut is correct. Additionally, once that answer is selected, don’t go back unless a detail was misread. However, this exam was so difficult that I actually think that I can get a 70 on it, which is my goal for this exam to pass.

Before I continue, what does “pass” mean? For me, it’s at least 2 points above the minimum. “Barely pass” means that I’ve met the minimum or it is 1 point above the minimum. For example, if the passing grade is 60 and I get a 60, then I barely passed. If I get 61, then I barely pass but a 62 would be passing.

After the exam, I stayed about an hour to talk to my classmates as some of us do take the total time of taking the exams in general. I am actually glad that I was not the only one who thought that that exam was hard, maybe even harder than the HESI exam. Somebody actually said that that exam was “ruthless.” They took the words right out of my mouth. Knowing that there are people who are going through what I am going through makes it easier. Knowing that I’m not the only one suffering makes my heart feel lighter and my legs less shakier.

Looking back, I felt like I gave it my all but at the same time, not so much. I guess this is what you call “ambivalence.” Boy, I never want to feel this way again.

So now, I pray and hope that I pass this semester. At this point, I am satisfied with getting the minimum passing grade. Because when I get that minimum, I can finally graduate safely this December.

Unfortunately, not all of my grades are posted so I have to wait some time next week to know if I graduate or not.

With that thought, I will be needing everyone’s thoughts, prayers, hopes, and encouragements!

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